My Snacks

Aspen crawled up on my lap a few days ago and cuddled up. She patted my breasts and told me, "I love your snacks, Mommy." You see Aspen was my little nurser. She nursed until she was 21 months and she loved it. Towards the end she nursed about 3 times a day I would ask her if she needed a little snack and then she would nurse. I didn't realize how often I referred to nursing as a snack until Aspen became more verbal. I asked Aspen if she missed drinking milk from my snacks and she sighed and said yes. She cuddled up again and we rocked for a while and then she sat up again and asked, "Mom why are your snacks small now?" I had to laugh because anyone who has seen me while nursing totally understands her question. Lore called my breasts the twins and I will never forget her sister Tracy's face the first time I nursed in front of her. So I explained to Aspen how my "snacks" didn't have milk in them anymore and so they were smaller. That seemed to satisfy her for a moment. "Dad's snacks are tiny!" I laughed and told her yes they are because he is a boy. "I am a girl, where are my snacks?" I explained to her that when she grows up she will get her own set of snacks. She was so excited. She seemed to have had all her questions answered and ran off to play.

It makes me wonder if she will always remember her nursing experience as fondly as I do or if it will fade away. I honestly miss the close time we spent together, there is something so amazing about the whole process and the security it gives to your baby. However, I don't miss breast pads, nursing bras, or having to quickly cross your arms when some random baby cries.